The Fakebook Experiment

I'm a fraud

I’m a man without a home….a man without people.

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I started one high school and finished at another. One of them had a get together a few weeks back. I didn’t attend my 20 year reunion for this particular school, so I hadn’t seen most of them for almost 25 years now. So I decide to go and just see how the night turns out. We get the grandparents to watch the kids and me and my wife head out to the reunion. We get there, pay, grab some food from the caterers, sit down and begin eating. We’re in a nightclub and there are people there with the reunion and people there not with the reunion. I hadn’t been to a club in years. My wife and I just were talking about the experience. I was very aware how grateful I am that I don’t ever have to spend my Friday nights this way. I LOVE spending time with my wife and kids. I’m overwhelmed by sadness at just the thought how different my life could have turned out.

So people I recognize start walking in. Some of them are even facebook “friends”. I have to extend every effort to be acknowledged and that’s ok….I haven’t seen many of them since forever ago. We move to a table closer to some people I’m acquainted with. Facebook “friends” are walking up and saying hi to everyone except me. I keep waiting for more people I might know better to walk in. We might have stayed an hour and a half, maybe two and we happily said our goodbyes and we’re off to pick up the kids.

It started coming back to me. I NEVER related to these people. Not even back in school. I hung out with/related to the outcasts and misfits. The people that don’t hang out posting on facebook and don’t go to lame reunions. I’m still that kind of a person. Why had my expectations become different?

I won life’s lottery…that’s why. I have a house, a happy marriage, bills paid, food to eat, I’m proud to be a father. I’m not covered in tats. I don’t look anything like the people around me that I relate to. I’m not accepted in that crowd either. I can’t hang out with them on Saturday nights. I don’t have a drug problem. I’m not recovering from one….but I have a heart for these people. I relate to them. I don’t hate you because you are successful, I hate you because you take your success for granted. You’re not thankful at all. You just want more. You look down on those that weren’t as lucky as you. You celebrate conformity. I celebrate diversity……I get the outcast. I’m one of them, but rejected by all.

I am so thankful for my wife, my kids, my blessings…but outside of these things….I’m a man without a home….a man without people. PS….I next day I removed a whole bunch of my “reunion friends” as my facebook friends.

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Written by fakebookexperiment

November 11, 2011 at 10:42 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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